If Only I Could Go Back and Fix It All
by IcybluePenguin
Summary: Eridan is used to having no one to talk to, and having only a few new wounds on a lucky day. But Sollux, the one who says he hates him but is the most gentle with his beatings, stops and wants to make peace for what he's done. Human/High-Schoolstuck


If Only I Could Go Back and Fix It All

Humanstuck/High-Schoolstuck AU

Pairing: Main is EriSol, other pairings will be introduced in later chapters.

Full Summary: Eridan is used to having no one to talk to, and having only a few new wounds after school on a lucky day. But Sollux, the one who says he hates him to his face but is the most gentle with his beatings, stops and wants to make peace for what he's done. Will the world ever be the same?

Disclaimer: I do not own the wondrous beauty that is Homestuck. Andrew Hussie does.

* * *

><p>I was a simple person in the beginning. I loved swimming, my greatest friend Fef, and all the wonders of the highly-spoken-of 'ocean'. My family had a quite a bit of wealth, which led to me being snobbish, a pompous "fish-face" to be ignored. Or so it seemed to everyone, as they in the end assumed all things about me. I was never the happiest child, ignored except for money left on the counter. I made due with Fef, some books about the ocean and adventures in it, and the pool down the corridor. Over time I found myself looking for someone in the schools halls, waiting on someone after class, and pausing to look around me for another. I didn't know who I was waiting on, glancing around for, trying to find. Fef was in a completely different schedule, and she took a different route home than I. I had also acquired a certain "sass" as Fef called it, and I was almost proud of it, as it made me feel unique. It was one of the few things of my nature that I had held onto up to now, high school.<p>

Now that I've gotten through all of that, I can get on to the real story, to the present. To everything.

~~~~~~Present Time, Lunch Time, School. Tuesday.~~~~~~~

"Wwhy the fuck do they make us eat this shit," I snarled at my lunch tray, shoving it a good 5 inches away from me. I have a _slight_ speech impediment I may have forgotten to mention.

"Becauth ith'h good for you fith-fath. Eat up, while you thill can," Sollux said, sitting in front of me. Wait, what-

"Wwhy the fuck are you sitting here? You can't stand me," I said matter-of-factly, not wanting to share the precious space I had with anything other than my books. Well, not with him. Not really. Sollux is just another guy to taunt or bruise me each day. Well, he's not the worst guy in the school. I'd rather sit with him than Equius. I mean I would but he doesn't really-I mean no one really-never mind. I cut off the thought before it really grows, so I can avoid an annoying case of sniffles and/or sobs in the middle of school.

"Becauth I can. And KK ithn't here for me to annoy today. Tho deal with it, fith-fath," Ah, that lisp. A wonderful and annoying speech impediment I didn't have, and regularly made fun of. The one thing I could always use to get Sollux's attention.

"Wwell I don't thee wwhy you don't go over to your other friendth, lithpth-a-lot," I said haughtily, hoping he would go away before I had to break out my rich-kid snob to get him to go away. I wanted to be alone by myself, not be reminded how alone I was by someone who made me feel alone on a regular basis. I'm used to not having a choice to be alone or not, so having one always made me push away the choice to one I knew and trusted. Being alone was very well known. The only thing I trusted more was being with Fef.

"Becauth your rich and thnobby athh is the only thing here I can talk to today," he said with more than a little annoyance.

"Oh come on, at least some of your other friends havve to be he-" I stopped and looked around after a quick mental check, to make sure. Yep, all of his other friends were out sick. The poor guy must have felt utterly alone, and _he_ wasn't used to it. So he carried his lisping ass over here to my table so he wouldn't have to eat alone. I could almost call him pathetic.

"Thee? I'm alone today becauth of that thupid viruth going around," he said, exasperatedly. I didn't even know he could sound so lost. I didn't even know he could sound exasperated. He only seemed to look akin to this when-

"You forgot that stupid laptop of yours today too, huh?" I said, smug in the idea that I was correct. That poor nerd was probably crying inside.

"How did you know that? Have you been watching me or thometing today fith-fath?" Bingo. No laptop plus no friends equals dying inside Sollux.

"It wwas pretty easy to guess. Evven missing friends couldn't havve made you so exasperated," I said like I was talking to a simpleton. He might as well have been for all the brains he was using.

"Glad to thee you care tho much about how I feel to analythe and name it," he dared to say, with a smirk glued onto his face. Why that little-

"Wwell it was such an _honor_ to talk to you and your lisp, but I'll be leaving now," I said, rushing out the cafeteria's double doors with my things before he could say a word.

I could've cried. I ran out the clear double doors to my right, and collapsed next to the giant oak tree outside. He didn't know that I was used to hearing only harsh insults from him. This was more like friendly banter. It hurt; it hurt to know I was just a replacement. All I looked for was love, and I always got shot down. Any type of love, friendship, love-love, hate-love, anything, even just attention. The only love I got was from Fef, so I held onto it, wanting it to fester, since it was the only love I ever knew, and ever thought I could achieve.

But she realized what was going on, and she refused to let my mind dream of it. So she rejected me. So kind was she, that it was harsh. Her kindness is as much of a curse as a blessing. She thought that if I was around her less then I would make more friends, maybe score a significant other. I could almost laugh.

The golden leaves swirled around me, the wind cocooning me, and the tree shuddering all the while. I could see a lone flower, golden as the sunrise and as doting towards the ground as any mother to her child. The school seemed so out of place, so drab and plain compared to the nature around it. The umber tones throughout it an almost insult to the color-filled life surrounding it. Hm, if only the daffodils in the corner were the type I had planted at home, I could-

"Thop that, you look thupid," a voice behind me said, softly, but only enough so not to startle me. Sadly, that didn't work.

"Wwhat the-the fuck are you doing out here!" I practically screamed, so startled I slammed my head back into the oaks trunk. I didn't do well with subtle things. Or non-subtle things. Or many things at all, really.

"I figured you ran off to do thome thing interething. Then I come out here and you have that thupid thinking look on your fath. You alwayth have that look on your fath when you're thinking all poetic and deep," he said pointing at my face, like it was some kind of daily observed specimen.

"Wwell I'm sorry I can't fucking accommodate your face requirements. Also, a thoughtful look happens to be vvery attractivve and sought after for most people. I don't see wwhy such a look wwould look unacceptable on me," I said, offended he would say such a thing. A thoughtful look is the basic best look for anyone, which is why the new picture trends are usually of unsuspecting people looking into space. Not to mention that being thoughtful is how we get most things we enjoy such as art, books, and, in the long run, people. A thoughtful person was an interesting person. I was never an interesting person to anyone but Fef, so I figured I wasn't a very thoughtful person. I tried to become more thoughtful, but I still wasn't interesting to others, so I guess it didn't work. Not on the outside, anyway. At least I don't write with as much sass as I act, or I would annoy all my teachers to their core.

"It lookth okay, I'm juth not uthd to it. It lookth thupid becauthe I can't think of _you_ ath thoughtful, and you're over here being thoughtful ath thit, and my brain can't deal with that thit. Tho thop it," he said, with a biting tone, one I usually here in a case of jealousy when people are trying to whisper about the person they like and who they're with. There's no reason for jealousy, so I blame it on the small range of emotions I've heard, the range compiled of all of Fef's many happy emotions with a few sad ones, and the small amount heard from whispers and shrieks around the school. I think of it as between anger and jealousy, though I still question where the jealousy comes from.

"I thaid thop, you idiot!" he exclaimed, though his voice never went louder than a regular speaking voice.

"Wwhy are you talking so quiet? Usually if anyone here decides to talk to me it's through shrieks and screams," I said in a bored tone, trying to mask the surprise I was feeling. Of all the people to talk to me the way I've seen friends talk to each other, it had to be Sol. Sol, the one who was least inclined to do so.

"Wait, what? You talk to your friendth whenever you can, juth like everyone elth. Don't lie to me, you talk to otherth after clathh and what all. They're juth thick and all from the viruth. I'm not thupid enough to think you aren't exthaggerating," he snarled, seeming offended that I would think him 'tho thupid'. Well I was about to get a little offended with him.

"Do I _look_ like I havve friends to meet after class? Do I look like I'm used to being talked to like a normal human being? Do I look like I'm used to taking up _anyone's_ space and time? _Do I look like I havve a decent convversation with anyone on a typical day? I DON'T EVVEN TALK TO MY PARENTS TWWICE A WWEEK YOU INCONSIDERATE TWWIT!" _I shrieked, no, roared at him, so emotionally driven I stood up and started stalking towards him. I felt the words redirect and slam with force back into me, like a thousand needles entering every nerve ending in my body. I knew already that this would end badly, with me embarrassing myself and driving him off. At least maybe now he wouldn't take the time to say he hated me every other day to my face, with the addition of fists. At least it would be one less beating at the end of those days, even if it was one of the most gentle. The more I thought about it the more the words pressed into me, searing my mind and numbing my body. I had the oddest feeling of knowing your legs are shaking themselves with abandon, but not being able to feel it. Watching as you tumbled to the ground, but feeling nothing, and not being able to stop it. Welcoming the impact since it stopped your spinning mind, and left you with clear thoughts as you saw black spots encroach on your vision. Well, he couldn't abandon you now without looking like a sheer asshole. Your last thought something along the lines of 'If nothing else does, cruel reality will always welcome me back into its embrace at the end of day.'

~~~~~~~~~~~~Later. Time: Questionable~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Oh gog, pleath wake up you thupid fith-fathed idiot," I heard a voice to my near right say, sounding on the edge of tears. I held back the urge to choke out a very un-manly giggle. This was priceless.

"Stop begging and I'll think about it," I said, trying to keep my face much the same as it was before I woke up. Which was quite hard, as I kept imagining Sol's astonished and so-very-pissed-off face.

Instead, I heard what was definitely an un-manly giggle, and felt a light slap on my thigh. This caused me to reflexively open my eyes and shoot up from the flat position I was in.

"Hey, wwhat wwas that for!" I said, cradling my thigh, feinting pain.

"Oh, I'm tho thorry did I thlap too hard? Thometimeth I can be too harthh without meaning to," he said, instantly serious and by my side.

"No," I said, smirking and taking my hands off my thigh to cross my arms, hoping I looked as smug in this position as I thought I would, "it didn't hurt at all, and you're almost adorable when you're worrying."

"You-you thupid idiot of courthe I'm worried and being overly doting to you, you fucking pathhed out in front of me!" he choked out through a multitude of giggles.

"Wwell you havven't had any qualms about that before," I said seriously, though I couldn't help but smile at the giggles gracing the air around us.

"Oh, I, uh, uhm, I'm really thorry about all that, that wath really juth..." he trailed off, looking towards the ceiling for help.

"You wwere really just…wwhat?" I prompted, ready to wait for whatever he had to say.

"I wath trying to show off for my friendth. KK keepth being an athh-hole and thaying I'm not throng, tho I tried to prove it to him by being like that," he replied after fidgeting in his chair, obviously embarrassed at the confession.

"He said that every other day?" I said, finding it hard to believe his words. Who the hell has to do that every other day to prove to their friend that they have some muscle on them? Though I could about guess what it was…

"Altho, the girl I liked thought it was attractive to be able to take down another 'man'," he said, reaching up to scratch his neck. At least he was being honest. I could have said this for him with the way I'd saw him looking at the aforementioned girl, and the way that such girl was.

"She's a complete airhead, though. Wwhy wwould you like her?" I questioned, pointing out that she had been graced with little to no brains, and used none of those that she had.

"I don't know, but I did. I thopped liking her lath week, when thhe made fun of KK. I couldn't have born being around her if thhe was the thmartest and nithest perthon in the world after that," he hissed, his face scrunching at the memory of it.

"Hm, so that wwas wwhy the beatings suddenly stopped. I thought you might havve caught a less handicapping strain of the vvirus going around," I replied, not sure where to lead the conversation, or if I should lead it at all.

"Wwhere are wwe, anyway?" I asked, thinking up an excuse to quickly change the subject.

"The nurtheth offith. Thhe thaid we could go in here tho you would wake up to thomething other than the thcoolth racket," Sol answered, leaning back into the uncomfortable-looking plastic chair.

"Ugh, wwhen do wwe havve to go back to class?" I said; ready to pound my head back into unconsciousness at the thought of more school after this.

"We don't thhe thaid we could both go home thince thith wath _thuch_ a traumatic event," he replied devilishly, smirking as he tried to get comfortable.

"You fucking bribed her, didn't you?" I said, giggling like a mad man and trying to cover up my face with my hands.

"No, I juth bawled like a five-year old when thhe athked what had happened," Sol spit out through a laugh, "and thop trying to cover your fath, it'th not working and a thmile lookth good on anyone, even you."

"Wwhy thank you, you don't look too bad yourself with a smile on your face," I said without thought, too busy getting up and gathering my things to go home.

"Y-you're welcome Ampora, and um…thanks?" Sol said nervously, though I couldn't imagine why. It was a mere compliment to his humored face; I wasn't saying that he was the most perfect person in the world or some shit.

"Wwhatevver, are you leavving or staying here?" I questioned, about to leave the room while Sol was still staring into the spot where I was.

"Oh!" he squeaked out, shaking his head, "yeah, let me get my stuff."

After waiting for Sol to grab his things and bickering about how we were going to explain this incident tomorrow, or rather how Sol was going to explain it to his friends when they got back and we were both making up work and suddenly on speaking terms. After many lisps and doubled 'w's and 'v's, we finally walked out of the nurses quarters and into the hallway, soon followed by the double doors to the parking lot.

"Bye," I said simply, getting out my ipod and walking in the direction of my house.

"Wait, what do you mean 'bye'? We haven't even dethided on a good excuthe yet!" he called after me, the words followed by the pattering of hurried footsteps on pavement.

"Wwell I'm going home," I said, not at all sure of why he wanted to come with me. What did he want? I wasn't seven; we couldn't play in the decrepit sandbox out in my yard.

"Yeth, tho can I come with you?" he said with a tone that made me feel stupid. Of course, he wants to come in and talk to me for a while, probably until the time school is supposed to end, and go home. Which wasn't so 'of course' for me since I'd never done this before. With Fef, I had always went to her house, since her parents wanted her under supervision. My parents were rarely home at such times, and wanted nothing to do with supervising 'children', though we grew far from children over the years.

"Oh, yeah, sure," I said, acting like I knew what he meant all along, "just be careful, my parents think it's a good idea to buy very expensive and very easy to break things."

"Awethome," he said, matching my pace and walking to the left side of me.

I couldn't help but wonder if Sol's friend KK, or Kar, could have predicted what would happen next if he had seen us, and if he would have tried to stop it.

* * *

><p>Okay, so that's it for this chapter, I hope you enjoyed it~! Please review telling me how you think this is, even if you hated it. Constructive criticism is very appreciated and welcomed. If you have any ideas, or anything you want to see in this story please tell me in a review, or PM me. I can't wait to hear from you! Also, if you're interested or want a chance for new chapters sooner (though I try to get them out at the same time), my tumblr is: writingzombie . tumblr . com Until we meet again, readers~<p> 


End file.
